RED HOT PLAYBOOK BLOG

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Sex workshops for men

October 11, 2012

So this summer, I decided to do a workshop for men. While working on an upcoming book Red Hot Playbook, I spoke to lots of guys who are really interested in learning more about female pleasure. Let’s be honest here, women’s bodies are not so easy to figure out. Hell, many women are even clueless about what goes on “down there.” Sex education is pretty much dead except for some high school abstinence programs that eliminate the education part. So where is a man supposed to learn about vulvas and orgasms and pleasing his woman?

Let’s start with dad. Ok, so that is a sick thought. I know. Who wants to get tips on oral techniques from their father? Hey, maybe your friends. But what do they know? The ones who are getting all the chics aren’t giving up the goods! Then there is porn and cable TV. Not so promising. No foreplay, techniques made just for the camera and positions that are unfathomable. What’s left? Yup the internet. Well a quick search will lead you right to porn. You know this. You are always 2-3 clicks from porn. See look… I will look up chickens…click on chick and there it is..hot teen chics. See what I mean? You are lucky if you can find an answer anywhere. Let’s try books. Books are always a good source! The last real relationship book I tried to read was 400 pages and font size 9. Really boring and I could never find the “good stuff.” Sex should not be boring! But there are some great books out there. Which ones are good? How many do you have to buy to find a good one? Who is right? Researchers are still arguing about g-spots and clitoral vs. vaginal orgasms!

If the above rant looks familiar, then I am going to offer you another option. Consider a workshop? They are fun. You meet new people and hear what they have to say. You get to laugh and at the end, you go home with an arsenal of great information. Yea I said laugh. I am NOT talking about the workshops they make you attend at work! The ones where you can barely stay awake. C’mon sex is fun and fun to talk about.

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Why does she take so long?

September 14, 2012

There are many reasons why women take a long time to have an orgasm. One common reason is that their lovers rarely spend enough time on foreplay. Did you know that the average time spent on foreplay is approximately 2 1/2 minutes? Yes, everyone likes a quickie now and then, but foreplay is needed to build anticipation so she is wet and ready. The average woman needs 21 minutes of foreplay before her body is ready for sex. So, if you are only spending a few minutes “warming her up” then her mind and body are just starting to get ready while you are having sex. This means, you are probably doing a lot of unnecessary extra work and spending a lot of extra time trying to get her to climax.

So the key is to take your time. Learn her body and what forms of foreplay she enjoys. There are lots of options so choose several. Foreplay is not just kissing and grabbing her boobs! Remember, never go right for sensitive areas such as the vulva, clitoris or nipples in the beginning. Wait until she is warmed up first or else it can feel very uncomfortable. Make out the old fashioned way, like you did before you started having sex. Try giving her a foot massage or body massage. Kiss her on her favorite spots such as her neck, spine or stomach. The idea is to touch her in places that will light her fire! Then when you make your move, she she will be primed and ready!

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